


Being Wanted

by Ylevihs



Series: Who Did You Think I Was? [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Hux, Consensual Sex, Fingering, M/M, Mostly porn, PWP, Slight fluff, mentions of matt the radar technician, slight angst, top kylo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-23 22:06:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6131623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ylevihs/pseuds/Ylevihs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The events of Keep It Casual from Kylo's POV.<br/>Kylo Ren struggles with Hux's inability to come to terms with himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Being Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> A casual reminder that in another universe Kylo Ren graduated best top in his class.

Subtlety was not something that came naturally to Kylo. He was trying to force pull a datapad off of Hux’s desk without fully extending an arm and dislodging the arm the General had slung around his chest. It slid a centimeter or two before Kylo got fed up and jerked it into his hand with a bit more force than was strictly necessary. It landed with a thunk in his palm. He frowned at, considered putting it back, then glanced at the other man. Hux was still fast asleep. As quietly as he could he tapped out an order onto the waiting screen. 

Less than five minutes later the datapad had been tossed onto the pile of clothing on the floor and Kylo was staring very intently at the ceiling. He was doing his best to imagine that he hadn’t picked up the datapad in the first place. 

Kylo shifted as much as could without jostling Hux to peek at the display of Hux’s comstation. The bright numbers cheerfully showed that only an hour had passed since they’d collapsed onto the bed. Kylo still felt a slight throbbing discomfort between his legs which would have been easy to ignore if not for the unfamiliar location. 

Absentmindedly he began running his fingers through the General’s hair. He traced abstract patterns and pressed in small circles. It was strangely satisfying to ruin Hux’s artfully constructed look. A bloom of peacefulness spread into the air like smoke. Kylo breathed it in deep, letting it fill his lungs and go to his head. Hux was completely at ease, which made sense considering he was asleep, but Kylo allowed himself a moment of fantasy. It involved a great deal of Hux being pleased with him and wanting to stay with him and other such things. It involved words that Hux would never even think. There was a change in Hux’s breathing as he began to regain consciousness and. 

I could have him right now. The thought came from the creeping blackness in the depths of Kylo’s mind. I could it would be easy he’s so thin I could snap his skin choke him slam him hold him down on the floor the wall the door with the force he’d never be able to leave here leave me I could

Hux stretched against him and murmured pleasantly and sleepily and Kylo couldn’t think anymore because Hux had nuzzled his head more firmly against his chest. It was the motion of a lover; all softness and feather-light and trusting. Kylo felt the other man tense suddenly as he realized where he was. Then, just as rapidly, he relaxed. The Knight let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. The episode was passing. He burrowed the thought away with open relief. Perhaps Snoke had been…no he didn’t want to think about that now. Kylo felt the General’s eyelids as they flickered open against his skin. 

Kylo concentrated on keeping his touch light and gentle. His fingertips swirled the soft hairs at the base of Hux’s skull. Pink neon strobe-lighting was less flashy than the signals Hux was beaming forth. The feelings didn’t have names that Kylo could think of; they existed just beyond the scope of language. Everything was warmth and softness and deep breathing and _safety_. Kylo wasn’t in Hux’s mind and couldn’t pull back and out and away and he was shivering on the brink of something and Hux felt safe with him. 

“How long did we oversleep?” Hux asked, his voice heavy with sleep. Kylo’s hand moved from the back of his neck and traced a formless pattern on the cool flesh. His fingers drifted and made their way down Hux’s body to rest on his bare abdomen. Cool and real and living and Kylo wanted to feel every breath and heartbeat. Hux was waiting for an answer.

“We didn’t,” Kylo said, just a little distractedly. Kylo’s fingertips had found a slightly rough patch of skin under Hux’s ribs and were wreaking the world’s gentlest havoc. He ran the backs of his nails over the spot, spelling Hux’s name over and over again. “It’s been just over an hour,” 

“An hour?” Hux repeated, without emotion. He fell silent then, seeming to focus on something distant. Satisfied with the attention he’d given to Hux’s abdomen Kylo’s fingers moved to press and rub the tender circle of skin on his chest. It peaked at the touch and a wave of approval spread out from the General. 

“How are you feeling?” Kylo’s voice sounded strangled in his own ears. Hux was too close to something, whether he knew it or not. 

“Fine,” he said and Kylo could feel that he meant it. Do something, his body urged him, anything. Just do it to him so he’ll stay. Hux was shifting away and Kylo followed the curve of the other man’s body. His mouth found Hux’s lips and pressed into it as softly as he dared. One of his hands found and cupped Hux’s cheek. He chanced a quick slip of his tongue into Hux’s mouth and was rewarded for it with a small noise from Hux’s chest. He felt Hux’s hands sliding over his sides, pressing his own fingertips in at the creases of Kylo’s muscles. Hux deepened the kiss, swirling his tongue over Kylo’s own and lighting a fire in his gut. Then the General ended the kiss abruptly. 

Undeterred Kylo trailed open mouth kisses along Hux’s jawline until he reached the other man’s ear. He had nothing to say. What could he say? Something left his mouth that was halfway between a sigh and moan. Hux clearly liked what he heard.

“Kylo,” it was breathy and uneven sounding and Kylo never wanted his name said again unless it was like that. He found he couldn’t tear his mouth away from Hux’s skin even if he’d wanted to. There was the tang of salt from old sweat and the baseline of human skin and the ever present traces of standard issue cleanser. The emotional radiation coming off of Hux was bizarre and intoxicating. He was pleased and in pleasure and wanting more and nothing negative tinged any part of it. Kylo basked in it and ground down onto the waiting body and the fingers on his sides increased their grip on him. “We have to stop,” Hux continued; even as he said so Kylo could feel him hardening. There was a flash of charged desire followed by resistance. Kylo sent out a silent urge for him to stop fighting it. A sharp jolt of discomfort ruined the moment. Was Hux pulling his hair? Not what he was expecting, but then again when had anything been what Kylo had prepared for? He forced himself to cease his movements. 

“What?” he pulled his mouth away from the other man. Hux didn’t respond immediately and Kylo felt his lips had twisted into a small sneer. “Do you need longer or something?” he turned his attention down and squinted at where Hux was rapidly coming to stand at attention between them. 

“As I was trying to point out earlier,” Hux voice sounded vaguely put-upon, as if he were disappointed in himself at having to ruin the moment. Kylo felt heat on his skin and realized that Hux had laid his open palm on his chest. There was a slight increase in pressure. Kylo frowned at it. “I only had the desire to sleep with you when I thought it could remain casual,” he said clinically, tone and body completely detached from the message. 

What was that supposed to mean? This wasn’t casual? Well. Alright. Clearly it wasn’t casual; it never had been. Hux wouldn’t know casual if it bit him in the ass. It wasn’t Kylo’s fault that Hux was chest deep in lo…oh. No. He wasn’t saying that. He couldn’t say. No. That was ridiculous. Hux would never. Never. Hux was staring at him.

“I…didn’t know you…were…developing,” Kylo couldn’t remember how to speak properly. Sure, he’d felt it in the air and in Hux’s mind and against his skin more strongly than he’d ever felt any emotion directed at him but still. For Hux to admit…

“Not me, you moron,” Hux snapped. A brush of panic hit Kylo in the face like a slap. “You,”

Kylo’s mind had to do some fancy footwork to follow what Hux was saying. 

He’s accusing me? He’s the one who…who…

“I would watch what I say if I were you,” Kylo growled. “You really think you’re that appealing?” 

“Clearly you think so,” Hux said in return. Maybe Hux suffered from short-term memory loss, as he clearly didn’t remember that not one minute ago he’d been quite pleased with Kylo’s attention. “Why were you stroking my head just now?” 

Because you looked peaceful. Because you were letting me. Because you liked it and you wanted me to. No. Kylo was not about to let Hux get away with pinning this on him. 

“Why do you think?” Hux didn’t have an answer prepared for that did he? The silence continued and in it Kylo’s mind began to fill with scenarios. “I wanted you to wake up in an agreeable mood so we could fuck again,” that sounded about right. It certainly wasn’t a lie. “It was working too,” there was a part of Kylo that knew he should have cut his losses while he was ahead, but he pressed on out of habit more than anything else. “You were practically sending off waves of ‘fuck yes’,” The man under him stiffened and made a noise in the back of his throat. 

Kylo slid into the fringes of Hux’s mind where the majority of Hux’s anger was directed inwards. Some embarrassment, some disappointment. Mostly conflict. Something surfaced in the General’s mind like a silver thread and Kylo latched onto it. Some of that disappointment was being directed at Kylo and, Kylo felt a flush of embarrassed fury, his skills. Mediocre? _MEDIOCRE?_ That shimmering thread wove into a braid that contained all of the distaste and dissatisfaction that Hux had ever felt for Kylo. Kylo took it like a punch to the gut. He knew he wasn’t Hux’s favorite person but…all of Kylo perceived incompetence and failures streamed through at him through the eyes of a man who already despised any deviation from the structured norm. Hux saw him all at once as weak and dangerous. Kylo’s fury pulsed in his eardrums with each heartbeat. 

Huge and cruel and ugly, the thought returned. I could do it--. He clamped down against the mental image of cracking the ribs just inches below his hands and. Kylo focused and the violent impulse lessoned and faded and Kylo wrangled the beastly thought to the ground. It was easier to grind the dark thought away than Kylo was comfortable with.  
Kylo was doing his best not to shake with hurt and anger; his endeavor was aided by the fact that he was solidly divided between punching Hux in the mouth and running away. Fuck this bastard. Why did he put up with him? Oh, right. Because Hux had apparently done another mental about-face and was back to wanting him. Pure and raw and unrestrained and was thinking about Kylo taking him fast and hard. It was a shitty reason and Kylo knew it. He wanted Hux to want him, though. And Hux was so open about it, so clear and undiluted. When he wasn’t focused on how little he cared for Kylo, the General focused a great deal on how much he desired him. This was so fucked up. They were so fucked up. 

Hux looked back up at him and cleared his throat. 

“You were saying that I was being obvious,” he managed. Hux avoided his eyes. Son of a. Fine. Whatever. Hux’s lust was breaking over him in familiar waves. Hux wanted him again and Kylo didn’t want to admit that that was enough. He sighed and let his forehead fall heavily onto Hux’s shoulder and saw that the bastard was still hard. The other man didn’t brush him off; the hand on his chest was no longer pushing him away. Damn. Damn damn damnit all. 

“Why do you always have to make it difficult?” it was out of his mouth before he could stop it, but Hux didn’t seem to react. Why, though? It didn’t make sense. The hand on Kylo’s chest began to drift downwards. When it reached its destination Hux began to gently stroke the waiting flesh. After a moment of shutting his mind down to focus on the sensation Kylo murmured out his surrender. It wasn’t fair. _Hux_ wasn’t fair. 

“Believe me, if I could stop,” the other man said tenderly. Earnestly. And he kissed Kylo on the mouth, nibbling and tugging on Kylo’s lower lip as if it were an apology. The General ran his tongue slowly into Kylo’s mouth and Kylo sucked on it to keep him there. 

Hux’s hand maintained its slow pace, drawing Kylo into hardness. Hux’s mouth left a line of slick heat along Kylo’s jaw. Kylo found himself leaning in closer to allow the General better access. The questing mouth found a sensitive spot under his ear and began to lather and suckle the skin there. A tremor ran through Kylo as Hux’s thumb did something lovely under the head of his cock. Another hand was dragging itself through his hair, pulling ever so gently. It moved gracefully along Kylo’s unscarred cheek and he caught the fingertips in his mouth as they passed. He was pulled from planting a kiss on Hux’s fingers and into planting a brief kiss on Hux’s mouth. 

Kylo pushed Hux’s hand away from his dick and set himself about the task of pressing firmly against Hux’s anatomy, making circles with his pelvis. Hux’s hand was pressing up his side and lingered over the edges of his scar. They moved, firm and insistent, into the center of the ragged scar. The Knight tried to control the shivering of the muscle there and failed. Hux released the pressure on the old wound and Kylo let his head come down and rest on Hux’s forehead. 

The hand that wasn’t supporting his weight drifted down over Hux’s hips and brushed its way along the underside of Hux’s thigh. The General raised his knee, the movement bringing their cocks into direct contact. Hux gasped at the sudden sensation. Kylo wriggled his fingers into the tender flesh along Hux’s inner thigh. Kylo pushed himself up and away from the thin man. 

There was a brief stillness and in it Kylo found himself examining the man under him. The General’s skin was unmarred by scars or spots, pale and clean. Light ginger hair covered his chest and ran up his belly. He could nearly count the ribs. Kylo’s fingers twitched, wanting to take in every sensation the skin of the other man could offer them. His eyes wandered up and landed on Hux’s face. He looked slightly out of breath and his lips were swollen and Hux couldn’t have looked hungrier if he’d been actually starving. Kylo felt his eyes dragging and drinking in every stretch of skin, every scar, every mole and freckle. A light pink took over Hux’s cheeks and Kylo smirked at the sight of it. Oh really General? Bolstered by Hux’s obvious approval Kylo cast a hand out behind himself and force pulled the lube into his hand. 

“So,” Kylo began in a singsong voice. “I came when you told me to,” he thumbed open the bottle and began to slicken his fingers with the contents. Hux watched the movement like a hawk. It was somewhat worth it, Kylo reflected, to know that he could, however briefly, hold the entirety of Hux’s attention. “General Hux,” he hissed the name and the man under him peaked with lust at the sound. “I wonder,” he brought his hand down and Hux shifted so that he had better access. He circled the entrance with two fingers, teasingly. “If you’ll be able to repay the favor,” Kylo thrust his fingers into the other man. Hux sucked in a harsh breath and very nearly skittered away from the contact. Kylo’s free hand flew to press against his hip and hold him still. Shit. Kylo cleared his throat by way of an apology. He met Hux’s eyes, which were not amused, and nodded once. The eyes rolled themselves and Kylo felt the tightness around his fingers begin to twitchingly relax. 

Kylo focused on keeping his touch gentle. His other hand drew up and began ghosting touches over the skin on Hux’s chest. The fingers within Hux moved deep and slow to make up for their earlier, rude, intrusion. They found that small shape inside the General and ran along it. A deep, smoky noise left Hux’s throat and his pressed his hips forward. Kylo flicked his fingers away and Hux writhed. Heat flushed up Kylo’s center. He repeated the motion with more force and Hux’s eyes slid closed, his face twisted and twitching. Kylo kept his fingers repeating the movement over and over again. From the corner of his eyes he saw Hux’s hands scrabbling for purchase on the sheets below him. Kylo lowered himself slightly and licked a long line up Hux’s windpipe, suckling slightly on the skin just under his chin. 

The muscles in Hux’s abdomen were dancing. The noises Hux was making sent Kylo’s skin crawling with fire. It sounded like the General was close to losing it. Kylo leaned away slightly and slicked himself with his free hand.

“Oh,” Hux gasped, his chest shaking on the exhale. “Oh, Kylo,” Oh, Hux. The General’s eyes flew open for half a second and they were shining and oh. Hux. Fuck, he looked beautiful; it was ridiculous. Kylo kept him clawing at the sheets and making those beautiful sounds for a few more seconds. After a moment longer Kylo felt a death grip descend onto his own hips. He pulled his fingers from the other man and Hux made a noise not unlike that of a distraught animal. A shot of guilt was replaced easily as Kylo kissed the General roughly. 

He broke the kiss as he thrust easily into the General. He moaned deep in his chest and wrapped an arm tightly around the back of Kylo’s neck. His other hand continued to grab Kylo’s ass, as if he could pull the other man any deeper into his body. Kylo risked a touch of Hux’s mind. It was suffocating. By the time he’d halfway surfaced, Kylo realized he was crushing himself into the General. His hips were moving about as fast as he could imagine and Hux was clawing at his shoulder, meeting every thrust that he could and god the noises he was making. Kylo’s mouth found Hux’s again and the other man’s moans echoed in his head. He did his best to set a steady pace but Hux was squirming and bucking and. A sudden groan was torn out of him. Hux had shifted and found a way to make Kylo’s dick sink even deeper and Kylo’s head was spinning.

Hux’s ignored cock was bouncing between them and Kylo took it into his palm. His hand, still slick with lubricant, slid effortlessly over the throbbing flesh. Hux moaned loudly, clearly ambivalent to the sounds Kylo was pulling from him. The Knight hissed Hux’s name. The man under him was starting to tremble just slightly. Kylo gasped; he felt wonderful. He wanted to feel more. If looks could kill the glare Hux shot at Kylo when he slowed would’ve slit Kylo’s throat, but Kylo ignored it. 

He removed his hands and slid them around and under Hux’s back and shoulders and lifted. Hux curved with the movement without question. Kylo slid himself out of Hux for half a second, just long enough for him to cross his legs and then Hux had practically clambered back onto his lap, sinking onto him with a shallow moan. Kylo clutched the lithe form tightly to his chest; Hux was tangling a hand into his hair and digging his other fingers into Kylo’s bicep. Thrust by thrust Kylo slowed and lessened the pressure until he was barely grinding up. Hux was panting, heavy and wordlessly. 

A harsh, high noise peeled out of Hux’s mouth straight into Kylo’s chest. Kylo’s hand softened its grip on Hux’s cock, trying to keep this going for as long as it possibly could. He moved slowly, reveling in the feeling of Hux’s body yearning against him. His mouth descended onto the General’s neck, sucking dark slick marks into creation against the flawless skin. When he was satisfied Kylo pulled away and looked into Hux’s eyes, glazed over as they were. They finally managed to find some sort of focus and as they did Kylo held his gaze.

“Mediocre, am I?” he growled, his voice thick and deep. Hux’s eyes clouded again, either unwilling but more likely unable to rise to the bait. He shook his head distantly. Kylo preened and pecked his lips with a kiss. “Cum for me, Hux,” he commanded, riding the high of having fucked the other man well into oblivion. Kylo resumed his bruising pace, the hand on Hux’s dick sliding and pulling and. He felt Hux’s forehead, slick with sweat, fall heavy on his shoulder. Kylo cemented the noise he made firmly into his memory to be relived and savored. He continued his thrusts and Hux’s hands drew jagged lines with his fingernails over Kylo’s flesh. He spilled hot and slick onto Kylo’s stomach in uneven spurts as Kylo continued to hit his prostate even as he came. Kylo’s hand left Hux’s dick in favor of grabbing his hips. The unceasing motion brought a steady stream of curses from the General.

“Shitshitshitshit _shit_ ,” 

Kylo’s hands clamped down and held Hux as tightly as he possibly could, probably bruising the other man. He moaned low and soft and twitched deep inside the General, filling him. In between pants he turned his head and kissed lazily along Hux’s jawline. Hux was still breathing shakily and Kylo ran his hands along every inch of Hux’s back, pressing deep into the muscles there. The obsession that his hands had with Hux’s skin was beginning to become problematic. He resisted the urge to nuzzle against Hux’s neck.  
Hux pulled back slightly and met Kylo’s gaze. The eyes were clear yet no less intense.

“Stop dipping into my mind,” Hux croaked. Then he winced. Kylo’s hands continued their prolonged journey across the expanse of Hux’s back. 

“Stop broadcasting yourself like a sex-starved beacon,” he said casually. Hux’s glare lost its fire, sleep creeping in at the edges. Hux’s fingers began their own movements against the flesh of Kylo’s neck; he leaned ever so slightly into the contact. 

“You still look like shit from earlier,” Hux said through the rawness of his throat. 

“So do you,” Kylo lied. Hux’s appearance was intoxicating—his hair was in ragged disarray, skin flushed pink and shining with sweat. There were dark hickeys along his neck and his lips were still slightly swollen and he looked pleasantly exhausted. A part of Kylo’s mind thought that it was sight he would never tire of. Hux began shifting away and. No. No don’t move don’t go stay here please. He all but collapsed back on the bed. Let me stay. Kylo tried to silence whatever part of him had come up with that plea and failed. 

The General had yet to dismiss him. Kylo allowed himself to fall forward heavily and sighed. 

“Did you sleep earlier?” Hux asked without warning. Deciding against admitting he had spent most of the hour while Hux was asleep admiring him and the rest of that hour looking up…questionable things, Kylo shook his head. He vaguely motioned with a heavy arm to where he had thrown Hux’s datapad. 

“Got some work done,” he lied muzzily hoping that Hux wouldn’t press the issue. 

“I thought you said no one worked during the sleep cycle,” Hux pressed the issue. 

“I always have work to do,” Just like you, you dick. Hux said nothing to that, staring up at the ceiling. Kylo’s hand, with a mind of its own, found Hux’s and wove their fingers together. Hux’s palm felt soft under his own. Hux held it. Kylo didn’t delve to deeply into what his emotions started doing when Hux’s thumb began rubbing against his hand. Hux wanted him to stay. He felt warm and light headed and his skin was tingling where Hux was touching him and Hux wanted him to stay. The darkness in his mind did not return that evening and Kylo slipped into sleep with Hux beside him.


End file.
